High Scorer

Each Right Question receives 1 point ......

lets see who ll be the high scorer...............

Q1: A father and his son are involved in a car accident, as a result of which the son is rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. The surgeon looks at him and says “I can’t operate on him, he’s my son”. Explain. (The answer is not “step-father”!)

Q2: What can you hold in your right hand, but not in your left?

Q3: How many birthdays does a typical woman have?
Q4: If a plane crashes on the Indian/Pakistan border, where do you bury the survivors?

Q5: A cowboy rode into town on Friday, spent one night there, and left on Friday. How do you account for this?

Q6: Which side of a cat contains the most hair?

Q7: Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?

Boss Vs Employee

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life,we all need $omething mo$t de$perately.I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport,including $weat and $ervice to ur company.

I am $ure u ll gue$ wat i mean and re$pond $oon..




Yor$ Sincerely,


Norman $oh

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear Norman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard.NOw a days ,NOthing much has been changed.You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet..

NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if theUnited States may go into aNOther recession.After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.s

I have NOthing more to add NOw.You kNOw what i mean.

Yours truly,

Manager.

Try to answer these........

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Read Till the END.........

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.' The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!' The woman said, 'That`s okay.' For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'. The woman replied,

'That`s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she`s the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. ' The woman said, 'That`s okay, because what`s mine is his and what`s his is mine.' So, KAZAM-she`s the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I`d like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don`t mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they`re really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Letter from a guy tired of chain mails!!!!

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have
forwarded chain letters to me in 2008.

Because of your kindness:


I stopped eating apples for fear that it might have been cut by a fruit-seller having an open wound on his hands & is suffering from AIDS.

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
cause
cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to
dial a
stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to
Uganda ,
Singapore and Tokyo .


When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she
is, for
fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys
and leave
me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl
that was
about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been
7 since
1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a
paid
vacation to Disneyland .

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh
Vandana,
Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..

Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

You can add your own notes based on your similar experience and send
them to
your friends.

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me
"Orkut is
deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my
E-Mail
account!

I have daily checked my ATM balance to see if Bill Gates have shared some of his fortune with me for sending those crap "BillGates is sharing his fortune'' emails but nothing happened...

No Thanks & No Regards whatsoever,

A Totally Frustrated Software Engineer.



IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you send this to at least 28,269,433 people in the next 10 seconds,

Tomorrow will be Today ...

This is how Management will be.....

How to catch a Lion?

Newton's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. ************ ******** Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.. Now you can trap it easily. ************ ******** Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. ************ ******** Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion . ************ ******** Rajnikanth Method : Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. ************ ******** Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping ! ************ ******** Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide. ************ ******** Karan Johar Method (director): Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont! ************ ******** Yash Chopra method (director): Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location. ************ ******** Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching! ************ ******** Menaka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously. ************ ******** George bush method: Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!! ************ ******** Ravi Shastri method: Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run Lion tired and surrenders ************

Think +++++++++++ve

Think +++++++++++ve

Father: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father:"But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"

Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"


Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!